Took a wonderful walk today up in the Aspen Vista; 9000 altitude. The most perfect of an autumn day. In honor of my Mom's 5th anniversary of her passing it felt right to be out in nature and allow whatever thoughts and feelings that came up to have a wide berth. I don't know about any of you but this whole grief processing experience cannot be contained in words that I am familiar with. My friend Melissa asked if I was thinking about my Mom today. I said, "You know, it's bigger than words or thoughts. It's bigger than anything I've ever known.
And now, with having both my parents gone; allowing everything to come up and show itself seems to be the only way. Allowing gives freedom to the thoughts and feelings. No need to define or place in a box or give boundaries to.
As Joan Didion writes in "The Year of Magical Thinking", she describes a day as being "...seemed to unfold with the nonsequential inexorability of a dream."
That is grief written like I've never seen before.