About Me

My photo
Santa Fe, New Mexico, United States

Saturday, December 29, 2012

For Braveheart

No words...deepest of bow. The report said, "...peacefully past away..." really?
Stop the Violence!

Thursday, December 27, 2012

The Awakening


I love this "in-between" week. It's like a reprieve before the New Year kicks in. I look back at the past twelve months; for understanding, for review, seeing how I could have done things differently (or not) or more skillfully (or not). As well as what I did just seamlessly and perfectly right. I think about the "word for the year" I chose, curious. I think it was right on. That word encouraged me to look at things I didn't want to look at with a sense of wonder and not be afraid of what I saw or felt. Curiosity was an invitation through the course of the year to simply stay open and allow life to happen. No controlling or bracing or pushing away or being afraid.

This week I'm thinking about several projects I have in mind for making images and writing. The whole month of January I'll be writing daily "small stones", a moment/moments keenly observed then written in a few lines or even a bit longer. You can check out writingourwayhome.com and check them out on their FB page. I'm also contemplating my "word for the year". I'm feeling that the word wants to be active, have movement in its meaning. Some I've thought of thus far; possible, create, participate, appreciate, NOW. We'll see...I've still got a few days left.

In this moment there is a very deep sense of peace and understanding, acceptance and allowing of what life has been waiting to give to me and I'm ready to finally, begin the show...

Blessings to all!

Monday, December 10, 2012

Today's Inspirations...


"goodnight stars, goodnight air, goodnight noises everywhere..."
Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown


It was but yesterday we met in a dream.
~Kahlil Gibran


"Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced."
~Kahlil Gibran


"If you become a crocus, in a hidden garden", said his mother, 
"I will be a gardener. And I will find you."
Runaway Bunny by Margaret Wise Brown

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Go To The Pine...






“Go to the pine if you want to learn about the pine, or to
the bamboo if you want to learn about the bamboo.
 And
in doing so, you must leave your subjective
preoccupation with yourself… However well phrased
your poetry may be, if your feeling is not natural – if the
object and yourself are separate – then your poetry is not
true poetry but your subjective counterfeit.”
~Basho

There Are Few...






"There are few human beings who receive the truth complete and staggering, by instant illumination. Most of them acquire it fragment by fragment, on a small scale, by successive developments, cellular, like a laborious mosaic."
~ Anais Nin

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Qualities Yet Undiscovered


Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Friday, November 23, 2012

Nobody

~ Nobody can bring you peace but yourself~
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Gratitude in Motion




 ~the honey pours in and soothes the heart~


Gratitude in Motion

Life swirls, unfurls, and throws us about like a ship at sea.
Life gives, it lives, in the smile of a small child.
Moving forward, confusion reigns; deeply sad no reason; treason?
Walking in the dark of morning perceiving a glimpse at why
one would take their own life.
Shocked by this thought; never had it before.
No fear or concern; only curiosity and then,
compassion.

Why now…from where did it arise…aren’t I wise
enough to know better?
Dare to even have this thought.
More swirling, more whirling, more breathing into feeling, not believing in the thinking.
And…then…there it is…motion, the ocean,
the energy moves forward, out and away from the darkness,
the sadness, the inexplicable, what?

Oh hello, it’s you…its love, each moment, one breath at a time.
Gratitude, look up at the stars.
Look …feel your feet touch the ground.
Look…the light breathes the leaves on fire.
Look, see, touch.
Love…another.
Miracles are happening every moment.

No need to take your life, life will have its own way with you and give
you all the joy and sorrow you can take.
You can make
your life anything you wish.
Right now and forever
in the blink of an eye
in a lifetime.
Your lifetime.

Go live it...now.

Do stop by and read some of the best word-smithing going on!

 

Saturday, November 17, 2012

They Were Many

                                   There were many and they found their way home.

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Just wondering and wandering


"When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy." ~ Rumi

Saturday, November 10, 2012

What To Do










What to do with all this time in front of me or… the care and feeding of Mary after getting fired and…discovering how to be in every moment to create the unexpected and the beautiful and then… the miracle.

All this time in front of me; 
in back, in front, all around; time to be confused, to process, to be granted, to figure out, to allow. Run out and look for work, apply for unemployment, push, wonder, search, question. It’s all a question of faith and not allowing fear to take hold. The universe had the timing down perfectly. 
“No time for writing or photography”- I do now.


The care and feeding of Mary after getting fired; 
was I fired?…an amicable firing? No time  for wandering/wondering into others thought processes; not my business. So I… take baths, drink hot chocolate, buy roses,  meditate,  alter my consciousness, run away from the feelings/emotions inside…don’t take it personally. I can’t get far enough away from me. I walk Lucy, feed the cats, I read…beautiful, healing language/story/poetry.

Discovering how to be in every moment; 
to create the unexpected and the beautiful. Pema says,“Be fully present, feel your heart and leap.” Historically, I’ve leapt quite a few times in my life; work and relationships. When something or someone, a situation doesn’t feel right…I go…I can’t stay…the energy moves me. But I’m learning how to not “throw the baby out with the bath water.” Such an odd turn of phrase but everyone knows what it means; knowing when to stay and when to leave.
 
I connect with source, find my creativity,  make images…write. I breath…deeply and oftenly. I remember the beauty of practicing prostrations. It comes to me in the morning, freshly showered. Hands folded, palms in prayer at my solar plexus. Do I remember? I bow and, begin. Bring prayered hands to the forehead (I take refuge in the Buddha), bring hands to the third eye, (I take refuge in the dharma), bring hands to the heart; (I take refuge in the sangha). I bend forward, kneel, sliding forward, moving hands/arms outstretched before me. A full prostration; powerful to lay it all down, give it all up, surrender, allow. And the practice itself, right now, is larger than any one lineage and I bow deeply for all the teachings/teachers. The Buddha: all my teachers throughout time and lineage. The dharma: every word I’ve ever read/heard/received throughout all incarnations. The sangha: every community I’ve ever had the honor to be part of and this includes my sangha of one – me. 


And then…the miracle…
the rainbow appears, notes from my lover’s guitar float across the air, sandalwood candle burns bright, the champa incense sends out its fragrance waving smoke lines. Shades/hues of pink roses so fragrant waft and fill my senses. Lucy leaves the cats to rest. I see the last light of day. I feel the keypad beneath my fingertips. I am warm inside a house with a refrigerator full of food and running hot and cold water. I taste the fruitiness of the wine as it travels the back of my throat.
I am alive and I am loved.




Saturday, November 3, 2012

Breathing it all In


Surprise
It's always a surprise to me when I find that I am depressed or sad or melancholy or lonely. 
I'm usually quite the happy one/positive one/supportive one. But as I get older I find these states of mind showing up more often. 

Peculiar
It's even more peculiar when I can feel sad/lonely/raw; when I encounter another (my partner, my son, my boss/co-workers) I find that my brain immediately switches to being "ON". I unconsciously/consciously, willingly leave that state of emotion and get on to the present moment of interaction. 

Healthy
Is this a healthy response? I choose to say nothing (most of the time) because I don't want to be a martyr, don't want to seem negative/cranky/complaining. (You've got so much to be grateful for, for god's sake).

Another
And if I'm feeling a certain way because a thought/emotion/feeling has come up in regards to another, I tend to take responsibility and say, "Well, if I'm feeling this way, then surely this is what I must need in order to grow in this moment."

That is Why
That is why I keep the mouth shut/move on. Am I discounting my feelings? It's hard to say because I also watch as I can immediately turn on a dime from feelings of loneliness and separateness to laughter and joy. If my feelings/emotions/moods can shift so rapidly, then I don't even wish to spend time with the negativity.

Just Move On
I prefer to simply move on.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Always an Opportunity



 


Always an Opportunity for Isolation or Connection.


Driving home today there were 3 different scenarios going on as I drove south on St Francis:

(1)A man dressed in fatigues carrying his home on his back stopping on the side of the rode t
o adjust his cap and (perhaps) take a moment to breathe and renew his movement, acknowledging the heat of the 5pm sun.

(2)Supporters of the Libertarian party with shining faces holding placards reading "Vote Libertarian, Vote for Gary Johnson". I just found them all so beautiful in their conviction.

(3)Two young men, maybe late teens/early twenties standing at the stop light, dressed in black suits, both with some kind of shoulder bag crossing over their front chests, of their black suits, also standing there with strong conviction. What had they been doing all day...walking in the hot autumn sun?
 
So many stories happening...layer upon layer...simultaneously.

The brilliance of our spinning planet.
 

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Out of Memory



Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.

Computer Haiku from the Internet and a deep bow to 
Philip Tushio Sudo _/|\_

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Faery Wise

 Faery dust is in order today. 
There comes a point during the day, oh around 4pm I'd say, where I just can't take anymore in, you know? My brain is fried and I have to get everything ready to make the daily bank deposit. I'm in my rhythm and then I'm interrupted, my balance is lost. There's no blame, it's just how I am and the other person has to interrupt because they need to finish the day and complete their thoughts. And then there I am...what?....what was I just doing...what did I say...is what I just said accurate? My capacity for multi-tasking has completed its circuit in my life. 
One thing...one task...at...a...time please.

It is only by letting go of all your defenses that you become invulnerable.~Brian Froud, The Faeries Oracle

Monday, October 8, 2012

A Lesson in Perception & Deep Listening




perception \per-‘sep-shen\n 1 : An act or result of perceiving  2 : awareness of one’s environment through physical sensation
3 : ability to understand : INSIGHT, COMPREHENSION   



an act or result of perceiving – when I am perceiving something, is it an experience wrapped within the perception of my experience?

awareness of one’s environment through physical sensation – I experience the power/sound of the ocean as it moves inside of me. I experience the quaking of aspen leaves through a physical sensation in the core of my solar plexus: me and the tree are one.

ability to understand - I take in the spiced scented jasmine blossom; I am sensing, perceiving and experiencing simultaneously.

What is perception? This is the question that has arisen for me this week in a writing class I’m taking over at Writing Our Way Home, titled, “Eastern Therapeutic Writing.” This week’s focus was creating our own koan or question; a self inquiry process. I’m thinking perception has something or everything to do with trust. I’m thinking perception has something or everything to do with intuition. I’m thinking perception has something or everything to do with not looking outside of ourselves for the answers. I know perception has something or everything to do with giving ourselves the authority to believe, once and for all, in our own inner voice. Everything to do with the power of the sound of our own voice and how it mingles with air as it penetrates the molecules.

I’ve been sitting with these thoughts/perceptions/experiences as I create my last post for Vision & Verb**. The journey never ends; it simply takes a different/new path.   I receive, I thank, I bow.

Terry Tempest Williams, in her new book, “When Women Were Birds: Fifty-Four Variations on Voice” says, “When we don’t listen to our intuition, we abandon our souls. And we abandon our souls because we are afraid if we don’t, others will abandon us. We’ve been raised to question what we know, to discount and discredit the authority of our gut. I want to know why. I regret whenever I abandon myself. But harboring regrets is making love to the past, and there is no movement here. It’s not the lips of a prince that will save us, but our own lips speaking.”

**Vision & Verb: A Global Gathering of Women


Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Reflections on Space & Time


Father time, there is no time, time is an illusion, there's no time like the present, in another time and place, time and again, a time to love, a time to heal, time heals all wounds, another time, time immemorial, timeless, time flies like a swift sword,(fruit flies like a banana), a stitch in time makes nine, once upon a time, time waits for no one...etc., etc., etc.

I say, time has collapsed and there is no time.
Just now...and now...and now.

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Impermanence & Letting Go





Impermanence & Letting Go
If there’s one certainty in life, say the Buddhist teachings, things change…always…and at some point. Pema Chodrin says the “teachings (of impermanence) encourage us to relax gradually and wholeheartedly into the ordinary obvious truth of change.”    

This teaching has been on my radar for, consciously, the past six or so years as I’ve said good-bye to my mom and my dad and my job. But, I’ve said hello to a beautiful, healthy relationship, a new job where I’m appreciated and “seen”, and most importantly, and I believe this informs every other aspect of my life, hello to a creative life with writing and photography that was simply waiting for me to open the door.

I’ve said good-bye to my twenty-five year old, who tripped and fell a few times and now is living with “the love of his life”. Good-bye to a monthly menstrual cycle that put me to my knees on more than many occasions; hello (and almost) good-bye to hot flashes, memory loss and emotional swings that made PMS look like a cake walk.

And the good-bye I’m walking down the street hand in hand with now is the letting go of my youngest son Ian, now 17. He’ll be 18 next February. I adore him…what can I say? From the moment I helped him up to the surface of the water in a small kiddie pool that we somehow fit into our bedroom back in 1995 after 3 hours of very intense labor. ( I had called the midwife around 9pm and she said, “oh don’t worry, you’ve got time, I’ll be there for you. When you get in the nice warm water, the contractions will slow down). Ha-ha, Ian was born two and a half hours later sans midwife.

No one can ever tell you or describe for you the level at which you can love your own child. I’m starting to understand, that for me, that feeling of love is so big there isn’t a container large enough to hold it…and anyway, why would I?

Ian was such an easy baby and then I got divorced and he went to school and he met the world head on, who told him in no uncertain terms that if you are different, the world will challenge you every step of the way. And yet, through it all he has remained completely true to himself. I’ve often described him as a young man who walks to the beat of his own drum. And well, I suppose I raised him this way… wanting to be free and not be told by anyone what to do (you’re not the boss of me)…um…eh hem….I have to admit that is a part of his genetic makeup…indeed.

This is his last year living at home. Every moment I have with him I record as the “possible last” something I will do with him; holding his head after he had his wisdom teeth extracted a few months ago, letting me take care of him. Listening to him as he shares his realization that death happens to us all after witnessing one of his best friend’s crack his head open from skate boarding. And today…today he asked me to give him this very sophisticated haircut…way beyond my abilities as house hair cutter. But, somehow, miraculously, with him showing me several pictures for examples, it turned out smashing; another “possible last” moment.

When Ian smiles it makes my heart sing. He let me take his picture today, something he NEVER lets me do. A letting go that I understand will take a lifetime.

And so Pema says about impermanence, “…What it means is that we begin to understand that we’re not the only one who can’t keep it all together. We no longer believe that there are people who have managed to avoid uncertainty.
              

Aspens

Aspens
Bending Branch

Aspens

Aspens
Aspen Bark

Aspens

Aspens

Buddha Applied

Buddha Applied

A Moment in Time

A Moment in Time
Silence

Silence Series

Silence Series
Silence2

Silence Series

Silence Series
Silence3

Street Photography

Street Photography

Train Graffitti

Markings

Faces From the World

Faces From the World
Bhutan

India

India
Folk Art Festival