About Me

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Santa Fe, New Mexico, United States

Monday, December 9, 2013

Facts & Dreams





But are not
all Facts Dreams
as    soon    as
we    put
them      behind
us-

Emily Dickinson; newly published "scraps", from "The Gorgeous Nothings", by Christine Burgin.

Thursday, December 5, 2013

This is How




Your hand cradles the back of my head
with tenderness
this is how.

Your soft breath whispers my ear, echoes the nape of my neck
with knowing,
this is how.

You pull close at the curve 
where we fit
this is how.

There is knowing
there is longing.
How did you know
this is how?






Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Redistribution of Memory




Redistribution of Memory

In the warmth of amniotic reverie, in trusted darkness, lessons were chosen.
An unbreakable thread linking decades of moment’s unconscious;
chance, destiny, fate-
did you ask, did I give permission?

There are lips and mouths and hands, there is separation frozen in expression.
Chemistry blackens time; laughter, mockery-
crying wolf at the door.

I see, I watch, I awaken; stolen flesh in prescription.
Contracts fulfilled, hearts broken-
questions unanswered become armor.

Dismantling/redistribution of memory; recall banished.

Indra’s net shines facets unseen,
the cape of fear is dropped-
gravity emerges in weightlessness.
Tectonic plates reveal groundless wonder-
and now, beauty,
and now, embodiment.

OpenLinkNight, http://wp.me/p1GTyJ-22B



Wednesday, November 20, 2013

The Magic of Birds and Deer and Other Things in the Fall




A family of deer meandering the roadside at the Bosque del Apache. 


The one that got away. I wanted to stare and couldn't get myself situated fast enough with my camera.
I love that uplifted paw. There's mystery in that fur and bone.


The blue heron languid and regal. Those seemingly delicate legs that work with precision in tandem with their outstretched wings to take flight and land.


 The wonder of the sand hill cranes' yearly migration; such a life these creatures have.

I've been taking this two hour drive for  the past three years. It's an honor and humbling to witness the lives of these winged ones as they take rest during their journey south for warmer climate.  

...and she says  to her mate, "See, watch, I'll show you how."
 


Tuesday, November 12, 2013

A good relationship...



"A good relationship has a pattern like a dance and is built on some of the same rules. The partners do not need to hold on tightly, because they move confidently in the same pattern, intricate but gay and swift and free, like a country dance of Mozart's. To touch heavily would be to arrrest the pattern and freeze the movement, to check the endlessly changing beauty of its unfolding. There is no place here for possessive clutch, the clinging arm, the heavy hand; only the barest touch in passing. Now arm in arm, now face to face, now back to back--it does not matter which. Because they know they are partners moving to the same rhythm, creating a pattern together, and being invisibly nourished by it."

~Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Trusting in the Process



My three sweet cats; Tara (ageless), Dot & Fiona (7?8?). The two tabby's watch with fascination as Tara drinks the magic flower water from the vase. There lives are full of simplicity and trust.

It's a warm blanket kind of feeling when things float along, don't you think? That was the kind of day I had today. It has been a luxurious bathing of day after day of nonchalantly moving the body from the bed, feel Lucy's cool and wet canine nose touch my cheek before lapping up whatever exposed flesh is available. Make the french roast coffee, no maybe sumatra? Make images with my iPhone. So much self care I almost don't know how else to live.

I am looking for work and today received my first return response and an interview set up for tomorrow! A locally owned computer retail store...the gentleman said, "Technical is not as important as customer service". Alright...I'm you're "go-to" gal. Although in the bell shaped curve I'd consider myself pretty geeky. Let's see what the universe has in store for me.

Natalie Goldberg writes in her latest, "The True Secret of Writing", "Tremendous unemployment right now. Take advantage of this time you can't find work. Slice into your worry, time for practice. You might be able to look back on this period with gratitude."
~Already am Natalie.

And this from Natalie too, "Gratitude can open us up. Stress believes that everything is an emergency. Nothing is that important. Just lie down."

I think I'll go do that now.
Until next time.
Hugs
m

Monday, October 21, 2013

Why I Left Facebook



I did it. I finally took myself off of Facebook. Why? Because each, "I think I'll just check my FB page", turned into one, two and three hours later. I had many wonderful iPhoneographers I was Following: there was the Hipstamatic group, the Parts &Process group. Then there were my recovery groups...anything having to do with buddhism and 12 steps and recovery. As it turns out, there are many iPhoneographers and many 12 step, buddhist recovering folks out there...around the world. After two and a half years, I couldn't keep things straight. Feeling myself way too thinned out. Flikr, Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook, Eyem, MobiTog, Instagram. It's insidious/chronic/addictive and ultimately takes me away from "real time". You know, this present moment?

Now, as life has unfolded, I've actually met some amazing individuals, who I reached out to over the weekend as I began the process of shutting down the page. I believe I interacted more with these said individuals in 48 hours than I had in months. So, isn't that lovely? Something beautiful actually did become of all of this social  media overload.

Of course, I'm connecting with these same people on other social sites....Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr. But hey, that's alright; there was something about FB that kept me there for far too long. I realized I had expectations...way to many....of what? Being recognized, "found". I thought people would follow me like I was the next new white bread/new creative/iPhoneographer/writer, blah, blah, blah....

Letting go of expectations from others and having expectations of myself.
This means, more writing: HERE. More images: HERE. More connections: Here.

Welcome to a new moment in time.

Thursday, October 17, 2013

I ask, Will you finish...

I ask, Will you finish this story and give the explanation?
You say, Yes. ~ Rumi


Thursday, October 3, 2013

Autumn


"....a glare that is blindness in the early afternoon, and glow more intense than blaze of branch, or brazier, stirs the dumb spirit..."


"...If you came this way, taking the route you would likely to take, from the place you would be likely to come from, if you came this way..."


"...if you came this way, taking any route, starting from anywhere, at any time or at any season, it would always be the same: you would have to put off sense and notion. You are not here to verify, instruct yourself, or inform curiosity or carrry report. You are here to kneel where prayer has been valid. And prayer is more than an order of words, the conscious occupation of the praying mind,  or the sound of the voice praying...."

"...What we call the beginning is often the end and to make an end is to make a beginning...
with the drawing of this Love and the voice of this Calling,
We shall not cease from exploration and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started  and know the place for the first time."

Portions taken from "The Four Quartets", by T.S. Elliot


Friday, September 20, 2013

Co-Arising


The editing on this image arose while I was thinking about a talk by one of my favorite teachers delving into the teachings of madyamaka, or emptiness or dependent origination. No, it's not nihilism.
It's about endless possibility and opportunity to live the fullest life possible!

Out of Time


At the end of the day, do I say this thing is between me and God? What does that mean? Uncovering the experience that there is no God. There is no supreme being who bestows his or her magic wand upon my ignorance and grants me understanding. But take heart! When I say there is no God it is simply the word. This word. God. 
1. Cap :  the supreme reality; esp : the Being worshipped as the creator and ruler of the universe. 2 : a being or object believed to have supernatural attributes and powers and to require worship 3 : a thing of supreme value  4 : an extraordinarily attractive person.

Much deep inquiry and contemplation is showing me that this Creator and ruler of the universe, a higher power, this something greater than myself, in fact includes me, is part of me, which makes me part of it too. Buddhism teaches emptiness; dependent origination. Nothing exists in isolation independent of other life. This is NOT Nihilism! Thich Nhat Hanh calls it interbeing. The entirety of all that is, is eternal, was never born and will never die. No creator. No beginning. This is the ineffable. This feeling is so vast and huge and beyond comprehension and may include something which could be described as god but in fact goes beyond and to infinity. 

Emptiness in fact invites and includes all limitless possibility. We are all inextricably connected. What I do effects everyone else and vice versa. Chaos theory. The butterfly effect. The divine nature of all things. Awe. It is all true. Just look in your heart. Just look up at the sky. The dark and the light join hands, are one and walk together.

Sunday, August 18, 2013

The Path of the Path of Path et al.....


The Path of the Path of the Path....

The path of the Catholic church
the path of questions
the path of boys
the path of girls
the path of leaving the church behind
the path of alcohol and drugs
the path of black outs
the path of kisses and carresses
the path of confusion
the path of love
the path of the hindu
the path of the guru
the path of marriage
the path of sons
the path of seperation
the path of growth
the path of divorce
the path of education
the path of the crone
the path of the fifth decade
the path of vision
the path of creation
the path of intimacy
the path of sobriety
the path of the buddha
the path of the heart
the path of opening so big a horse race can fit inside*

*so big a horse race can fit inside; a quote I heard from teacher Elizabeth Mattis-Namgyel.

Thursday, July 4, 2013

Hydrangea On My Mind



Did you see me stop,
in my tracks,
pause
and turn around to pick you out from the bunch?

She asked, "Does anyone have a burning desire?"
Do I understand why there are tears now or for some time long past?
And did you know you can say, "Two cowboy burgers, please. I'm doing well, thank you and no one need know you are crying?

I finally realized I want another dog, to fill the loneliness. Oh, I know they leave us too but, it's such a pure unconditional relationship, isn't it?

Did you know I can walk around raw, still smile, stay sober and survive?

Do I understand,
no, fathom,
the grace?

Did anyone see you brought solace and salve to my wound?
                       You
did.


Tuesday, June 25, 2013

The Transitory Feel of It







Oh, you should have seen the swallows how they swooped,

down skimming the surface of the pond. 

And did I tell you how the fluffs from the cottonwoods 

reminded me of how fleeting thoughts can be? 

It was magic there and I wanted to keep it, 

hold 

the transitory feel of it while it ran away, free.

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

You....Remembering





Me, being dissatisfied.
You, remembering.
You took time, connecting rice on blue dinner plate to the rice paddies
in Colusa Valley.

Willingly Broken Open



Willingly Broken Open

































Lucy and I clanking down the street in the hot afternoon sun;
her with I.D. tags, me with Buddha, labyrinth, OM.
Lighter fluid fills the air barbecuing for our fathers.
Our fathers are gone.
I remind my sons to call their father.
"Our Father" was Dads favorite prayer.
We often recite it at the end of our recovery meetings.
I want to say the "Hail Mary";
I want to say "we" and "she".
I yield.
I want peace.

Thursday, May 30, 2013

How...

How do the animals sense leaving?
How is it you've become this beautiful young man?
How does the wind carry the voice?
How is it deep joy arrives?


Saturday, May 25, 2013

dropping down...



dropping down into the groundless
she knew a simpler serenity.


Sunday, May 19, 2013

Memories 1

many layered/multidimensional/dynamic
emptiness brings full possibility
nothing is static.

Memories

You share your story,
memories surface and I am healed.

Friday, May 17, 2013

Katya Wanted to Teach...

Katya wanted to teach everyone to fly;
to feel the freedom she knew. One day....



She Wasn't Minding....

She wasn't minding her brokenness; she began to recognize it as her source of strength.~


Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Friday, May 10, 2013

"What's Your Location?"




Your face
sunbaked,
home is outside.
Cardboard in hands, "anything will help."
You walk the cement plank;
stagger/waiver/balance top with bottom-beat up tennis shoe brushes the curb, touches the street.
Did anyone notice, does anyone care....to even look?
You adjust, get back on your plank, assume the position.
You're a soldier fighting for a meal/dollar/drink/dignity/peace.
Do you know what peace feels like?
Red light.
Steady now, turn, I look at you. You're taking a deep breath after the catch, you let out an exagerated
exhale.
At that expression I think, "You're not safe/so many cars/so unsteady/so hungry/hot/
what else?
I don't want you to die, not here, not today.
I want you to feel embraced by the world, accepted/unconditiol love.
Full stomach/full heart.
911/"What's your location?"/man/staggering/I want him to live.


Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Lucy and I Go Hiking


Lucy and I had ourselves a little adventure up in the mountains today. We've been in the house a little more than usual these days and I thought the mountains and fresh air would rejuvinate us.






After a false start and having to go back to the house for Lucy's leash...finally we're out on the path and Lucy's happy (and so am I!)


"I thank you God for this most amazing day, for the leaping greenly spirits of trees and for the blue dream of sky and for everything which is natural, which is infinite, which is yes."
~e.e.cummings

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

May Day

Happy Beltane/Spring/May Day!!

There's so much I want to say; what my life has been like...
The words are still finding their proper places...
It's a beautiful spring day, isn't it?






Thursday, April 4, 2013

She Loved Her Solitude

She loved her solitude
while the silence spoke its own language
and the light sparked like fireflies.


Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Every Act Counts....

"Every act counts. Every thought and emotion counts too. This is all the path we have. This is where we apply the teachings. This is where we come to understand why we meditate. We are only going to be here a short while. Even if we live to be 108, our life will be too short for witnessing all its wonders. The dharma is each act, each word, each thought we speak.

Are we at least willing to catch ourselves spinning off and to do that without embarrassment? Do we at least aspire to not consider ourselves a problem, but simply a pretty typical human being who could at that moment give him or herself a break and stop being so predictable?

My experience is that this is how out thoughts begin to slow down. Magically, it seems that there's a lot more space to breathe, a lot more room to dance, and a lot more happiness."

~Ani Pema Chodron



Aspens

Aspens
Bending Branch

Aspens

Aspens
Aspen Bark

Aspens

Aspens

Buddha Applied

Buddha Applied

A Moment in Time

A Moment in Time
Silence

Silence Series

Silence Series
Silence2

Silence Series

Silence Series
Silence3

Street Photography

Street Photography

Train Graffitti

Markings

Faces From the World

Faces From the World
Bhutan

India

India
Folk Art Festival